Just days from now, we approach what most of my radio peers have been calling the most important election of our lifetime. Now, my memory isn’t a whole lot better than 1989 Ronald Reagan, but didn’t people say the same stuff two years ago?
Oh, but this time there’s other, more important stuff for you to vote on! Important things like maintaining the status quo, ignoring drone murders, and making sure those gays don’t do anything dangerous like join hands in holy matrimony. I wouldn’t want my grand children to live in a world where people hate each other over being an asshole, instead of skin color and weather or not there’s a dick near your butthole.
Let me make a correction for all the blowhards of the world. This is the biggest missed opportunity of our lifetime. We had a chance to turn things around, but no, America’s decided. Instead of thinking critically, questioning authority, and cutting back on the Mountain Dew intake, we’ve decided that presidential debates are like the superbowl for politics, and having more than two choices would be hard on our collective minds.
Gonna vote red or blue this week? Good. I hope everyone finds solace in the fact that you picked what was already picked for you a year ago. Millions of anonymous dollars from super PACS funded the 30 seconds spots of Obama waving at a group of children that won you over. Good thing most of those donations are secret, or you might find out that a lot of that money is coming from corporations hoping for the government promise of bailouts and continued monopolies.
One might be immediately surprised to find out that three of the third party candidates are for marijuana legalization! It’s not a conversation the media wants to have, but I can tell you right now, that it’s a healthy amount of drugs that will keep me from going absolutely psychopathic on November 6th.
My final thought? Hurricane Sandy proves to me why Romney and Obama are so popular- because you CAN take the power back. All you have to do is keep blowing.